Part of having Parkinson’s is the daily regime of medication‘s which attempt to keep the symptoms in check.

I do say attempt, for they don’t work all the time and sometimes I feel as if doctors are simply tossing darts at the dartboard to find out which one is a bull eye.

That is not said to demean the doctors I have, for they are the world leading experts but they don’t exactly know how to treat it or is there a cure.

Sometimes I look at those pills in my hand and I hate them I wish they never had to be, that I lived a normal life like I used to.

I need to remember to all the time to say,”thank you Lord that your hand is upon me, that you provided the physicians and that they are striving to find the best prescription to control the symptoms and actively seeking a cure.”

I have to remember that God forknew these days would come, and that His grace which is new every morning, is sufficient in all things … even in having Parkinson’s.

Have you ever felt like you’re just a face in the crowd and no one knows you’re there? I think it’s something we all have experienced I know I have myself.

I am sure that the crowd sees us, just as we can see all the faces in the crowd. But why then can we feel so alone all in the midst of all those people?

Oh the reasons could be many.

I know that for me,I’m an introvert; I don’t do well mingling. I do well one on one, you get to know the person… who they are. Mingling just produces a series of shallow conversations from a series of… shallow people.

Then I stop and think for a minute not in my head but in my heart and remember that God knows me intimately in the all crowded faces, he knows each person intimately.

That is beyond my understanding, but by faith I believe what His word says;

O’lord, thou hast searched me, and known me.

 Thou knowest my downsitting and mine uprising, thou understandest my thought afar off.

 Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways.

 For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.

 Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.

 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high, I cannot attain unto it.

 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.

 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;

 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

 If I say, Surely the darkness shall cover me; even the night shall be light about me.

 Yea, the darkness hideth not from thee; but the night shineth as the day: the darkness and the light are both alike to thee.

 For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb.

 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.

My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.

Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.

How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them!

If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee. ( psalms 139: 1-18 kj)

So when I feel like just a face in the crowd, there is always someone who sees me… thank you Lord for knowing me.

as One…

For some reason I have the wedding band hanging on pin my memorabilia board in my kitchen, don’t ask me why but it’s up there.

I know it’s not from some lost love that never happened, I would remember that. The old saying,”it’s better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all… “ is not true.

We are told that the wedding band represents unending love forever… the perfect circle, but then we know that is not true either, i have been through a divorce so may have you, that wedding band meant nothing in the end.

My hat is off to those couples who been married for 50 years they know something I certainly don’t.

There is something I do know that in a relationship with God through the saving work of Jesus I do have a relationship that will last forever.

I recall Jesus’s prayer in the garden of Gethsemane, “ My prayer is not for them alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one—I in them and you in me—so that they may be brought to complete unity. Then the world will know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.” (John 17:20-23)

I stop for a minute and rest on those verses and think about what it means to have Jesus pray for me, for all who believe in him as Lord and Saviour to be… as one.

Just like the wedding band, a perfect circle of endless of love; forged on the cross at Calvary,… unbreakable.

Lord, help me to always remember that in this world relationships come and go and love ican be a passing fancy… but that in my relationship with you it is unending for all eternity

So as Valentine’s Day approaches, what is love to you?

It should be unconditional gift… if not it is simply an emotion offered in expecting something in exchange and is based solely on the current conditions at hand.

Why do I say this? Because conditions can change… but love should not.

An example, will you still love each when the one comes home late, and the other’s skillfully prepared dinner has gone cold?

True love is unconditional, and given as a gift expecting nothing in return. There is nothing you can do to earn it and there is nothing you can do to lose it… for it is a choice that one has made to give it.

So on Valentine’s Day when you say, “ I love you”

Do you really?

God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son and whom so ever shall believe in him shall have life eternal

John 3:16

God‘s grace is new every morning!!!

Do you see God as far off and distant, saying,” God where are you in all this mess!”

God is wherever we go, is always with us, and always waiting for us as shown in the verses below;

Psalm 139: 8-10

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

Mathew 28:20

…I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen

Proverbs 8:17

I love them that love me; and those that seek me early shall find me.

I have to remember His promises and hold fast to them… for his silence he’s at work still.

Lord help me to always remember that You were always near to those who love You, that You are always working for are good for Your will in Your purposes. Amen

I ask a simple question, “ how do you see God?”

Do you look up to heaven and say , “ Lord these are the things I’m facing how are you going to make them work in my favor so that I can have peace in my life !”

Or do you say,” Lord I’m facing these things in my life… please strengthen me so I can make it through them, please continue to form me into the image of your Son who endured all things to set me free, so I might be His image to the world around me.”

The first one questions God’s sovereignty “how are you going to “ the second and latter one relies on God’s sovereignty… “ I trust Your ways are better than mine” so that we might be His witness to the world around us who does not know Him.

I know that there are times I am guilty of looking to God and saying,” fix what is broken around me!” Instead of asking of Him,” fix what’s broken within me and replace it with your love, your character and nature”

Every step…

It’s all about how many steps you take and everybody wants to get in 10,000 steps in a day!

Some days I think I may be at 37 and my record was 32,567.

And there are those steps are really matter; like a child’s first step, the first step across the threshold with your bride, and then that leap of faith.

I take a step that requires a lot of faith, it is going to see Dr. Joseph Jankovic my neurologist and Parkinson’s specialist in Houston.

It’s been nearly 5 years since I was diagnosed with Parkinson’s and was told on the first day that I had 10 years to live, I pray and know that God knows more than that Dr. thought he did.

I take this step with the full knowledge that the Lord foreknew that this step would take place as all the days of my life are written down in his book of life… long before I was born.

As well, I know that every step I have taken before and every step follows after The Lord goes before me and follows after me as my shield and my protector.

I know too, God brought the best team of Doctors possible into my life to care for me including those friends that surround me close at home and far away; I thank the Lord for each member of that team and for each of you too.

I rest in His embrace and lean on His word alone; To God be all glory, praise and honor forever more.

“ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” ( Romans 8:37-39 )

They say life is a collection of memories from past and I would agree.

I am someone who collects Momentos and souvenirs from throughout my life, as you can well see.

I would argue just say it is about more… about the memories yet to be created, and with whom you share and cherish them with a then add another collectible to the cork boards we call our life’s.

Then I pause remember that the Lord knows every day of my life before it was written before I was born and before he formed the foundations of the Earth, calls to me personally. He knows every single step that I will take an walks beside me all the way.

So for every marker on the board I know the Jesus Christ is right beside me and for every marker that I yet to place on the board he’ll be there as well.

I thank Him from the bottom of my heart for He is Lord and Savior, yesterday, today and forever more.